I was a bit unrealistic from the start. I knew this would be
difficult, but I vastly underestimated the extent of this challenge of quitting
drinking. This is something I was completely unprepared for. To be blunt…… this
is really hard.
I knew it would take a little time to get used to, but
optimistically, I figured a couple of months top. Realistically, I am not even
close to being used to or 100% comfortable with being sober. On a scale of 1-
John Stamos, Not drinking is unequivocally the hardest thing I have ever been
tasked with. You may be asking, why do you top a scale with John Stamos??? Well
to any man, woman, or beast, Uncle Jessie is a mother f’ing ten! So yes,
quantifying the difficultness of not drinking can be put on par with the looks
of a Greek yogurt spokesperson that may be the most graceful aging person in
history. You get the point, it is really freaking hard.
For the math people who enjoy counting, I have now been
sober 5 months…..
(Awkward silence)……
(Crickets)…..
This is where you start clapping turds.
Thank you, thank you! Back to the blog.
Not to toot my own horn, but that is quite impressive for a
person with my past, so toot toot! I
have experienced more change in the last 5 months personally then I have since
dating back to the awkward years of puberty. I am starting to find new hairs in
strange new places and my body is growing a bit more outward, but I can only
attribute that to getting old. While I wish I could grow a little taller, and I
wish I was a baller, but my mind is changing and not my body. Change was
inevitable and I am a completely different person then I was 5 months ago and
it is starting to become noticeable.
Friends and acquaintances say, “ Dude you’ve changed.” They’re
right, I have. I’d love nothing more then to be able to not drink and step
right in to the social settings I used to frequent and be the life of the
party, but I can’t. I wish it were fun for me to go out all hours of the night
with everyone else around me intoxicated, but it’s not. And most certainly, I wish
I the fact that I decided to stop drinking didn’t change things, but it does.
It’s nothing less then devastating. In no way am I judging people for going out
and having a good time using alcohol. I have not become a person who is going
door to door and preach on the adverse effects of alcohol and want to change
your lifestyle to conform to mine because I have found some new righteous path.
I want to drink! I want to party! I want to be right there with all of you as
the life of the party, but I cannot and will not do it anymore.
That was the hardest part of stopping. Knowing I would lose
the good times with a lot of friends. I will be completely honest when saying,
I cried when I came to the decision of quitting. I cried the day after too. But
I promise I did not cry on day three. I pulled my shit together, fried a pound
of bacon, and ate it all. I dried the tears off my man card, and put that puppy
back in my wallet. I’ve identified that I cannot continue to party and get to
where I want to be happy in life. I’d like to still be a crazy partier and
please everyone, but I have to finally be selfish and do what’s best for me. So, I want friends and family to know that
nothing has changed between us. I know it may sound like a cheesy break up line
by saying it’s not you….it’s me, but in all reality it is me. We’re not
breaking up. I am just telling you, I can’t be the Jake I once was, but I hope
you can get to know the Jake I now am. There are only three things you need to
know. The same goes for sober, as I was drunk; don’t trust me with your phone, don’t
let me hold anything made out of glass, and I fart a lot after I eat ice cream.
Other then that, I think we’ll get along just fine.
