Year in the books

So today is the day. It has been exactly one year since I gave up drinking completely. It’s been a crazy year, that’s for sure. That could be why as a blogger I have been slacking. It’s actually been 6 months since my last post. For those who enjoyed following along, I apologize. I wasn’t absent because it was something I didn’t enjoy. Frankly, it was what I looked forward to most Sunday nights. The real reason I haven’t been maintaining the “sometimes weekly” blog is because I haven’t needed it. As much as I loved sharing the struggles of my decision to quit drinking with you in a humorous way, it was my own weird coping mechanism to deal with it all. It was something I desperately needed. Probably more than any of you will ever know. It was my outlet. Last June, I was a mess. The decision to give up everything I loved was gut wrenching to say the least. Everything I knew was suddenly gone. A way of a life, the way I identified myself, and the one thing I thought set me a part — was suddenly gone. A year later, I couldn’t be happier with my decision, but let me tell you, the struggle has been real.

While I thought it would have been a year of soul searching and reinventing myself, it turns out, not much has changed. Other than the fact, I just don’t drink. Yes, my social life has taken a hit, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss or think about it at least once every day. But there’s only one way to move, and that’s forward. So if you wondering, these are a few things I have learned in my first full year of sobriety:

The postal service sucks.

No offense to any mailperson who risks their lives in the rain, sleet, or snow, but why in the hell has my acceptance letter to Hogwarts not come. I am almost 27. Not a spring chicken anymore, and if I am going to perform adequately in the wizarding world — you’d better bring me my damn letter.

Popeyes chicken is divine

Say what you will, those biscuits can change a person. And they have made me a better man.

Mornings are still awful

Hungover or not, mornings are fucking terrible. Don’t just wait to speak to me until I’ve had my morning coffee — don’t even look at me until at least after 10:00.

I really can’t dance

As a person who may be in the lowest quartile of sub consciousness, when you are completely sober, you don’t need a mirror to know exactly what you look like. I plan on changing this — more on that later.

People really don’t care that you don’t drink

This was the biggest realization. People don’t care like I thought they would. One of the hardest parts of giving up drinking for me was if people would accept the sober version of myself. Turns out, people only really care if you are an asshole or not. And being sober, I piss on a lot less furniture and take advantage of less people, so maybe I am just a nicer guy now. But that doesn’t mean I’ve turned into a passive person. If you threaten me, I’ll still kick you squarely in the dick.

So moral of the story, becoming sober didn’t rewrite the book in a new Jake Grothoff like I thought it would. Turns out, he is the exact same person. One who doesn’t care about the things he necessarily should, and one who definitely cares about things he probably shouldn’t. Being a year sober now could be seen as a milestone. But honestly, it doesn’t take a chip, a plaque, or parade for me to know that it is only the beginning in my alcohol abstinent adventure. There will always be an aspect of missing the feeling and false courage that came a long with drinking. But being scared about trying new things makes it all the more satisfying once you accomplish them.

So that is how I am going to celebrate. Do something that scares me. I am terrified to dance in public. So, to celebrate a year of being sober and the willingness to be scared, I am going to learn to dance. And by dance, I mean real dancing like my idol and dancing icon Kevin Bacon. I am not sure how long it will take, but I am going to learn how to recreate the warehouse dance scene from the Oscar worthy masterpiece — Footloose — minus the gymnast pole stuff. I think he had an extra do that for him. Since I am from Iowa, I need to add this dance to my resume. So thanks for following along as I scattered posts throughout the year. It may have been a year, but the adventure has only just begun.